To busybodies: This is just for my own record in case i do forget it, not for you to comment or do anything about it. This is my blog, and i write what i want on it. Thank you.
Junqiang said he USED to like me!!!!!!!!!!!! screech!!!!!!! Never once did I expect that. Although it was only for a short 4 or 5 days. He said that if I had said yes to his request then, he wouldn't mind steading with me.
But I remembered saying yes then!!! But he said he thought I didn't answer him, which most probably led to him thinking that he's not prepared and stuff. So he finally decided that he must have been thinking too much that led him into thinking that he likes me.
I was wondering: If I said YES I WANT TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND more readily then, then both of us would have been steading. But if that's the case, wouldn't it be a greater impact to me when I find out that he was just thinking too much that he like me, and decides to break up with me?
Okay
Junqiang the rest is for you, if you actually do read my blog:
I'm not angry with you now. I'm really angry with myself. If only I had more courage to say YES loudly to you the other time. But I really said yes... I DID SAY YES... But somehow, you didn't hear it, and thought I didn't answer you...
So I guess, it's my fault that I'm super miserable now. How i wish time could just move back. Maybe we could be together... My indecisiveness ruined it all? Sorry Junqiang...
Can everything just go back to those few days? I promise I would change. You said that sometimes I'm the one who makes you sad right? I'm sorry...
I promise that I won't make you sad anymore. I will never get angry at you ever again. I won't ever get jealous when you talk to lingli. I won't get jealous when you talk about Guanlin. I won't scold you even if you treat me badly again... Really..... I won't anymore.
你知道吗？当我们算是在一起的那几天，我本来想告诉你，如果你对我的感情能超过 jc 的话，NS 的那两年，当我进入大学时，那两年，我一定会等你。我真的会等你。就算是现在，我不就在等你了吗？但是，我们现在，还有可能吗？我真希望我们能在一起。那时我唯一愚蠢，但渴望的心愿。愚蠢，是因为我知道，要你再次喜欢我，是有点痴心妄想，真是痴人说梦。但是，就算如此，我真得很渴望能拥有你。
我真的很恨自己，为什么就是不能让你喜欢上我？！
But, I've decided. I want to win back your heart again. I must do it. I've decided: Junqiang, I want to woo you! I know it's super weird for a girl to actually say that, but really... I know chances of me winning you over is almost 0. But that won't stop me.
And just to clarify some things to you. I don't hate you, so stop saying that I do. Talking to you is just fun, and I really love it when we just hang out and talk. I know you've lied to me time and again, but no matter what people say, I'll always trust you. Can you give me another chance to prove myself? x)
Okay I know this is weird. I learnt this line from Leeanne, but i found it quite... Sweet i guess, and sent it to you earlier...... Junqiang, Good night. May you have the sweetest dreams. I know mine would be with you in them... I know it's a little mushy, but that's the way I really feel, because for now, it's only in my dreams that we get together... You really mean a lot to me... Can I have another chance to be with you??
OK OK OK. SUPER mushy i know. But this is really how i think. Maybe it's abit too mushy, but really, these arent even close in expressing how much i actually like you... *i refuse to sub in ''love'' for ''like''*.. But really. I really like you. A lot. You'll never know... To what extent you may ask. To the extent that I would die for you. Okay maybe not to that extent yet, because we haven't got to the stage where I have to choose between life and death. But just understand how much i like you. Really.
I hope our friendship don't suffer after this. But yea, this is all I want to tell you, for now. Good night, Junqiang......