they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin

I got this song lyrics about friends from Eminem's song, If I Had.

and I don't know whether I've felt this way before, but I know, I definitely don't now. but one thing that i know is, i've really taken my friends for granted in the past. all the while in secondary school, i've never really paid that much attention to my friends, thinking that they're something like, people whom you can just use to past time. I know it's overboard of me to think this way, but my idea changed when I came to IJC.

when i came into IJC initially during PAE, seriously, i was quite lost. Lost as in, I really suck at mixing around with people. And I was lost, coz I didn't know anyone, other than Annette, whom i wasn't very close to in the beginning coz I never was once in the same class as her during the 4 years in presbyterian high.

and when i came into IJC during PAE, initially, I thought i could be in the same class as samuel and junqiang, since the 3 of us wanted the same subject combination in the beginning. but sadly, samuel chose geog as his H1 subject instead. and initially i thought the difference in H1 subject won't make us go into different classes. but it did. he ended up in 0811B, while i was in 0811A.

and junqiang wanted 0811A also initially. but his bio for prelims only got C5. and during pae period, in order to take H2 bio, our prelim result for bio must be at least a B4. so he couldn't take my subject combi of H2 maths chem bio and H1 econs, and he went to 0823A.

and during those times without samuel and junqiang in 0811A pae, all I could think of is the times that the 7 of us spent together. the days we spent painting mrhui's homeroom. the times that we walked to amk hub after school. the times we went to amk mac drivethru just to eat after school. the times we went to yishun KFC to eat after school. the times we went to samuel house just to slack and eat his pasta after school.

even those times where we sit outside the classroom back in phs waiting for the teacher to come. even the times we quarrelled. all these times are the times I really can't forget. I miss those days more than anything else.

I really miss all of you guys.

but I know we can never relive those days. sadly, samuel left during JAE 2008, and went to yishun junior college, before moving on to Singapore poly, and I'm happy that he's happy there. But nonetheless, me, being the usual selfish idiot, secretly hopes that he's still here in IJC. even if we're not in the same class, we can still meet up in the morning in the canteen, just like how we did during PAE 2008. or we could be just like we were much earlier during PAE. I can wait for you at the school gate for your father's car to arrive before going into school together. but now, it's impossible.

but thankfully, junqiang is in 0811A JAE, although we're no longer what we used to be in secondary school days, but i'm just glad that at least he's still around. among the 2 who used to be in IJC with me, at least there's still one around. No fish, prawn also good. (translate to hokkien: 没鱼，虾也好).

p/s: seriously I don't get that "no fish, prawn also good" thing. isn't prawn more expensive than fish? hmmmmm.

anyways, most of you must be wondering, why my post only happens to be talking about only samuel and junqiang. wells. don't read too much into it. it's coz I was watching Corner with Love. and there was this part where they said that you'll always remember how your real friends look like. even if they aren't around you, they're always in your heart. when you close your eyes, you still know every single detail of how they look like.

and I tried it. and the 2 most vivid figures that I can describe very clearly are samuel and junqiang. not that I don't remember how others look like. but the both of them are the clearer ones that I can just close my eyes and describe.