To busybodies: This is just for my own record in case i do forget it, not for you to comment or do anything about it. This is my blog, and i write what i want on it. Thank you.

Junqiang said he USED to like me!!!!!!!!!!!! screech!!!!!!! Never once did I expect that. Although it was only for a short 4 or 5 days. He said that if I had said yes to his request then, he wouldn't mind steading with me.

But I remembered saying yes then!!! But he said he thought I didn't answer him, which most probably led to him thinking that he's not prepared and stuff. So he finally decided that he must have been thinking too much that led him into thinking that he likes me.

I was wondering: If I said YES I WANT TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND more readily then, then both of us would have been steading. But if that's the case, wouldn't it be a greater impact to me when I find out that he was just thinking too much that he like me, and decides to break up with me?

Okay Junqiang the rest is for you, if you actually do read my blog:

I'm not angry with you now. I'm really angry with myself. If only I had more courage to say YES loudly to you the other time. But I really said yes... I DID SAY YES... But somehow, you didn't hear it, and thought I didn't answer you...

So I guess, it's my fault that I'm super miserable now. How i wish time could just move back. Maybe we could be together... My indecisiveness ruined it all? Sorry Junqiang...

Can everything just go back to those few days? I promise I would change. You said that sometimes I'm the one who makes you sad right? I'm sorry...

I promise that I won't make you sad anymore. I will never get angry at you ever again. I won't ever get jealous when you talk to lingli. I won't get jealous when you talk about Guanlin. I won't scold you even if you treat me badly again... Really..... I won't anymore.

你知道吗？当我们算是在一起的那几天，我本来想告诉你，如果你对我的感情能超过 jc 的话，NS 的那两年，当我进入大学时，那两年，我一定会等你。我真的会等你。就算是现在，我不就在等你了吗？但是，我们现在，还有可能吗？我真希望我们能在一起。那时我唯一愚蠢，但渴望的心愿。愚蠢，是因为我知道，要你再次喜欢我，是有点痴心妄想，真是痴人说梦。但是，就算如此，我真得很渴望能拥有你。

我真的很恨自己，为什么就是不能让你喜欢上我？！

But, I've decided. I want to win back your heart again. I must do it. I've decided: Junqiang, I want to woo you! I know it's super weird for a girl to actually say that, but really... I know chances of me winning you over is almost 0. But that won't stop me.

And just to clarify some things to you. I don't hate you, so stop saying that I do. Talking to you is just fun, and I really love it when we just hang out and talk. I know you've lied to me time and again, but no matter what people say, I'll always trust you. Can you give me another chance to prove myself? x)

Okay I know this is weird. I learnt this line from Leeanne, but i found it quite... Sweet i guess, and sent it to you earlier...... Junqiang, Good night. May you have the sweetest dreams. I know mine would be with you in them... I know it's a little mushy, but that's the way I really feel, because for now, it's only in my dreams that we get together... You really mean a lot to me... Can I have another chance to be with you??


OK OK OK. SUPER mushy i know. But this is really how i think. Maybe it's abit too mushy, but really, these arent even close in expressing how much i actually like you... *i refuse to sub in ''love'' for ''like''*.. But really. I really like you. A lot. You'll never know... To what extent you may ask. To the extent that I would die for you. Okay maybe not to that extent yet, because we haven't got to the stage where I have to choose between life and death. But just understand how much i like you. Really.

I hope our friendship don't suffer after this. But yea, this is all I want to tell you, for now. Good night, Junqiang......

FUCK.

That dabian went to ask Junqiang whether he likes me or not. STUPID fucker. Obviously he doesn't!!!! Seriously, I hope Satan sticks a knife up your ass. This, I guess, is their conversation, according to that dabian. *not exact words*
Shit: Do you like Kimberly? I read it from her blog.
Jq: I nv! *goes offline*

WTF!!!!!!!! Fucking bastard! You have no rights to read my blog okay! My blog is NOT for you to read! It's for myself and my friends! NOT FOR YOU!!!!!!! Fucking idiot! Read my lips: My blog is not for fucking bastards like you to kaypoh in!!!!

I was bitching to Adeline about how Junqiang played with my feelings the other time when he asked me to be his girlfriend but didn't mean it. And she asked me to ask Junqiang for the exact reason why he lied. I asked, and that to the turning point, once again.

Okay, as I said, I asked Junqiang WTF the reason was, coz he was insisting that it's forbidden and refused to let me know. But I still managed to get a part out of him at first. He said that he asked me to be his girlfriend because he wanted to test whether I still like him or not, which I found quite stupid coz anyone in the right mind would know the answer.

Okay, from there, our first phone conversation stopped, coz it was 10pm and he wanted to watch tv. 5mins later, I received a message from him, and we started off with a sms conversation:

Exact spelling and words
Junqiang: Seriously if u wan to bitch abt such stuff, i won stop u. But just noe tt wadeva i do, i think ALOT! So things jus get VERY confusing. Ya.
Me:Seriously, tt juz made me even more confused. As in, i noe tt u juz wan 2 'test' me. But u nt afraid tt i agree n when i found out tt u lied, n i'll hate u meh?
Junqiang: Smth lyk tt, but tts oso y i didn't wan 2 explain 2 u on e grad nite day. And i'm prepared u angry, incl e zq part. Ya.
Me: Seriously I'm getting even more pissed. But its like, weird rite, asking tt qn juz to test me? Wah. Wad if i agreed then and forced you to keep to it? U rly taking super huge risk. Risking me to force you n risking our friendship. As in, i din ans u tt day coz of hgl. So.... If i forced you 2 keep 2 it, wad wud u do?
Junqiang: I seriously dun wish to explain, u wun wan to noe. And i am nt risking, plus if u still lyk me, pls dun. I am a scoundrel, lyk wad zq said.
Me: *warning. Very mushy.* But I WANT TO KNOW! And if u think tt's gonna stop me frm liking u, think twice! So wad even if u're a scoundrel!? I lyk u as a scoundrel cannot is it?! So wad even if u lie 2 me bout such things over n over again?! I admit tt i was rly v sad during those 2 incidents. But u think i can get over it so easily? If i cud i would haf gotten over u last dec! so wad even if u lyk someone else ie. hgl? I dont care! I juz dun wan 2 c u sad only wad. As long as u happy I dun care whether u lyk or hate me! If its just coz u dun lyk me tt i dun lyk u, tt means tt i din even lyk u 2 begin wif! Nvm. U wun understand. Wait till hgl tells u e same thing den u'll understand.

Yes, super drama I know. And do not mind the horrendous language used in those smses. Its my way of reducing the characters. Sorry if you're having a hard time trying to read them.

Okay, so after that mushy sms, I decided that he was probably going to ignore me so I continued watching television until about a minute later, i heard my phone ring. So i ran off to my room, and realised that it's Junqiang. I was hesistating whether to answer or not, but I just answered nonetheless.

The heck! That 2nd phone conversation really led to a turning point in this situation!! okay, it sort of went like this. It isn't exact words, but the meaning's there.

Junqiang: eh. Why call you that time got english music one?
Me: Huh? *that was so random*
Junqiang: You don't believe you call yourself and hear lor.
Me: Uh huh. *still found it super random*
Junqiang: Oh ya. Your sms so long. What you mean?
Me: Huh? *Don't expect me to confess AGAIN*
Junqiang: *reads part of my sms* Ya, so is there typo error?
Me: Huh? *as in, you called me just to correct my english?*
Junqiang: Ya. You spelt 'as' as 'ask'. Look at the 2nd or 3rd line.
Me: Oh. I did. *still found this super random*
Junqiang: Oh ya. so what you mean?
Me: I meant everything literally. *don't expect me to say everything out in words*
Junqiang: *re-reads the sms to himself* but seriously, don't.. I'm a scoundrel.
Me: *sigh* As i've already said, SO WHAT IF YOU'RE ONE?! Like i said, you won't understand!
Junqiang: No. I understand.
Me: ORLY? It's the same as Guanlin telling you not to like her anymore! I ask you, if guanlin ask you not to like her anymore, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?!
Junqiang: I'll just keep quiet.
Me: Okay then, so i shall keep silent too.
Junqiang: Actually... Okay I have to say that name. Lingli. I was uncertain whether I like her or not.
Me: HUH?! YOU LIKE HER?!
Junqiang: No lah. That was like, months ago.
Me: Oh. So you don't like her lah?
Junqiang: DUH! Of course not.
Me: Oh..... *heaves a sigh of relief*. and then?
Junqiang: I was uncertain of lingli that time, before I confirmed that I don't like her. As for Guanlin, I've always been uncertain, even until now.
Me: Huh? I thought you like her?
Junqiang: As in, I'm still uncertain whether I like her or not. But it's almost nothing. Ya.
Me: Oh. *so he don't really like her lah...*

*silence*
Junqiang: hello? you still there?
Me: ya.
Junqiang: And you mentioned that you don't want to see me sad. Actually you see alot of times already what.
Me: I know.
Junqiang: And it's also caused by you what.
Me: O.O what does it even have to do with me?
Junqiang: Of course! Whatever you tell Leeanne and Zhenqin means you always angry with me. Like on your birthday after we left escape that time.
Me: *recalled that I scolded him saying that he's no different from mr. SUCKERFISH* Oh. But most of the time I thought you sad cause of Zhenqin.
Junqiang: Ya lah, but you also contributed to me being sad what.
Me: Whatever.

*silence*
Junqiang: But okay, REALLY, that time I was wondering whether you still like me or not, that's why I asked you that question, but regretted later, and I didn't want to know the answer. But then I really wanted to know the answer later again, that's why I asked you again on the phone, but you didn't answer me again. So I regretted it again. So I was thinking and branching out possibilities: If you say yes, and if you say no. And if you say yes, it would branch out into two possibilities: Whether I'm prepared to go into a relationship or not. And if I am prepared, it would branch out into many other possibilities, which is very confusing. So I guess I'm not prepared, which was why I told you that I was lying on grad night.
Me: SO YOU WERE LYING THAT NIGHT?!
Junqiang: as in.... Ya. Coz I wasn't prepared.
Me: WL! You made me think that I'm SUPER deluded until I thought I've been seeing things on my phone!
Junqiang: Ya lah. I was just lying when I denied it.
Me: WA LAU! Like that you make people think that I'm lying lor!

*awkward silence for around 30seconds*

me: Can you like, say something? You call me just to repeat everything to me?
Junqiang: No lah. I was reading your sms.
me: Uh huh... *lame answer i know*
Junqiang: Can I ask you something? Do you regret asking me the real reason, although you don't know the real reason yet?
me: >__< WTF. YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME THE REAL REASON!? MEANS YOU'RE LYING AGAIN!?
Junqiang: No lah. As in, you only know part I... Still got part II.
Me: Okay lor. So tell me what's part II.
Junqiang: Cannot! That part is forbidden!!
Me: JUST SAY! *I got pissed. :P *
Junqiang: ..............
Me: SAY LAH AIYOH.
Junqiang: Okay, remember just now you asked me what would I do if you forced me to keep with it?
Me: Uh huh... *awaits for disappointing answers*
Junqiang: I won't mind.
Me: Huh? *surprised*
Junqiang: Ya I don't mind.
Me: Ok ok wait wait. I understand the part that you said you're not ready for such things. But you said you don't mind.... ? huh?
Junqiang: Ya i meant I don't mind.
Me: *silence coz I was damn confused*
Junqiang: You get my meaning?
Me: Think so *still surprised*
Junqiang: Ok, what did I mean?
Me: You meant that you don't mind lor.
Junqiang: SIGH. What do I mean by I don't mind?
Me: That... You don't mind fulfilling that question you asked lor.
Junqiang: And what is THAT question?
Me: the... erm... Whether I'll be your girlfriend.......
Junqiang: OKAY! You've got it. Bye bye. *coz his tv show was starting since it's already 11pm then*
Me: *quickly* bye bye! *puts down phone before calming down*


The heck. Sorry for this friggin long thing. Haha. It's for future reference in case I forget everything that happened. So what now? I really don't know! ANYONE TELL ME WHAT THIS MEANS!!!
It just made me even more confused! AIYAH. Fine. It shall all come naturally, I HOPE.

That reminds me. I was too busy gushing about who did what in the previous entry that I forgot to blog about what happened yesterday. Haha.

Anyway, yesterday it was pretty weird, coz i was more afraid of those not-so-scary rides than those thrilling ones. Haha. I think I sat the Wet and Wild thing for more than 4 times? haha. First time I sat with Samuel. The next few times were all with Junqiang. I wanted Zhenqin, but he didn't want to get wet. So wells... Junqiang would do. We played while Zhenqin and Christie went to queue up for their go-kart ride. First time I thought it would be scary because I vividly remembered how afraid I was when I took the ride when I first went to escape. But somehow, it wasn't scary at all yesterday. BUT, my mascara smudged due to the water splashing onto my face. Haha. I looked damn emo after that. Haha.

Sat the rainbow thing also. Quite lame actually. Sat with Leeanne and addy, while Junqiang sat with sam, and Zhenqin with christie. It was quite boring, other than the frequent screaming of vularities by Leeanne and christie. Haha. and I realised that the guys can scream higher pitch than I could. Lol.

The inverter was super fun!! Christie and Zhenqin didn't dare to sit at first. But after one time, they got addicted to it. Haha. We took both extreme ends, and it was super cool!!!!! I sat with Junqiang and Addy the first time, followed by with Leeanne and Addy. Damn fun! ^^ but i wanted to sit with Zhenqin and Christie coz I wanted to see their expressions. Haha.

There was once everyone wanted to go and grab a bite except for me and Junqiang. So we ended up going to play Wet and Wild ourselves. Haha. As we were riding the boat, they were playing the ''Can't get my eyes off you'' song, and JQ started singing it. Haha. funny. I embedded exactly the same edition of the song under the music section. Haha. Hilarious to recalled how he couldn't reach the note. Lol.

In the end, we went to queue up for the go-kart. QUEUED ALMOST AN HOUR!!! But it was rather worth it I guess. For someone as noob as me, I didn't collide at all. Haha. And Zhenqin's car broke down halfway, and I merely shouted, ''BYE BYE!!!!!!'' to him before I zoomed past him. Haha. I was scared to drive fast for the first round, but i literally SPED through the second round. I didn't really enjoy the slope coz it was super bumpy. I was driving closely behind leeanne when this fucking guy tried to overtake Leeanne. But in the end, that ass collided very loudly into Leeanne's car and banged onto the curb, resulting in sparks produced and his car stopped then and there while Leeanne and me happily drove past him. Haha. LOSER.

Oh yes. and even before we went to escape, we went to Anna's chalet to grab a bite and to get the free admission tickets. Then, Junqiang was telling us about what his father said and stuff. His dad is super certain that I'm steading with his son, and Junqiang was telling us what his father said.

Illustration:
Father: *looks at class photo* Which one is Kimberly?
Junqiang: *points*
Father: WAH LAU. So big size?!
Junqiang: *shows father group photo*
Father: *looks at group photo* which one is Kimberly?
Junqiang: *points*
Father: Eh? She not big size what. *points to Huiming* This one more big size.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (:

Another illustration:
Junqiang: Tomorrow going to escape to celebrate Kimberly's birthday. So after that I go Bedok to stay instead, since it's closer to Pasir Ris.
Father: Oh okay lor. But then, if you go bedok, who accompany Kimberly take mrt to Marsiling? Aiyah come home and pei Kimberly on mrt lah.
Me: .................. *blush*.....

and yes, he did pei me. Haha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! ok it's belated already coz I was too exhausted to blog anything yesterday. Haha. Went to escape with... Let me see... Leeanne, Adeline, Junqiang, Zhenqin, Christie, Samuel and Anna. Yep. I intended to pay around, $115.50 for their entry. BUT! Anna has got 6 free tickets, and in addition, and entry fee was only $7 per person due to the school holiday period. So YAY! I only paid $14 for the entry of 8 people. HAHAHA.

Anyway, before I continue, must thank these people for wishing me and present and stuff (:
-Leeanne <3
-Adeline <3
-Junqiang <3
-Zhenqin <3
-Christian <3
-Samuel <3
-Huiming <3
-Anna (:
-Joanna (:
-Fabian (:
-Sharmain (:

And also, special thanks to these people, because I didn't really expect them to remember my birthday:
-Irene
-Sok Ting
-Axel (for the birthday song too)
-Xin Ru
-Sheng Yang
-Rui qi (although I don't know you :P )

The present that Junqiang, Addy and Leeanne gave me is so SWEEEET! *refer to the above* (: Samuel asked me to get the present from him some other day. Haha. Nevermind, since he pei me yesterday for the wet and wild ride without laughing MUCH at my smudged up mascara. Haha. (:

Ok, I started talking to Junqiang again. As usual, it was relatively dramatic. We were talking about the relationship between him and ZQ, when it got super dramatic. Those typical 1000 episode soap opera kind. I shall quote a few of the smses before commenting on some of them.

*exact words*
Me: If u 2 patch up, u'll still hate him? Don't lah. I think if Guanlin was in our grp she'll also want u 2 stop hating him and urself. I noe my words may not mean anything, but really, just don't. Bet 438 got ask u all 2 patch up ba? since she more impt 2 u, u shud listen to her too.

JQ: Ya. Jus to tell u, she also tell me to call me to call his phone (me: I think he meant tt she CALL him to TELL him.) But i didn't. haha. I will still hate him after we patch, lyk wad he used to do few months ago. (me:ORLY?)

Me: 438... Fucking bitch. FINE! don't call his phone! and since she fucking called you, I guess i'm not going to do that again. She means more to you right? if even she can't do it, obviously i can't too! fan zheng i'm just nothing! sigh. nvm. 4months left anyway. haiz. you won't understand.

JQ: Dun lyk tt lah. My sms bao le. But really dun, now ZQ hates me, I really dun wan u to hate me too. Its ur welcomeness tt made me nt leave e grp.


Super drama right? especially the last sms from Junqiang. He don't even know why I'm so friggin pissed. Well, at the same time, I was smsing ZQ too. Haha. I was asking him whether he wanna patch up with Junqiang. and he gave me a definite answer.

*exact words*
ZQ: NOPE! after hearing wad u say, see wad he do, wad he say, he himself is somehow like *suckerfish*. Ya. He say smth then he denies. a few time maybe can. But then e way he did tat to u is very ass. Ya. And I dont mind losing a fren or two, as long i have quite a few v.gd frens wif me. Ya. U leh? How and wad are u gg do abt him?

me: I dunno lah. I'm still friggin pissed when I think back of what he did. Quite stupid. I guess I'm just going to ignore and heck care first and see how lor.


Okay, I was like, AWWWWWWWWW! Zq's more angry with Junqiang then I am for what he did. so sweet! haha. But really lor, I think anyone would get friggin pissed off when they hear what he did. Like ZQ said, JQ's a playboy, while JQ denies the fact that he did play with girl's feelings. WHATEVER.

And yay! I finally finished watching 我和僵尸有个约会 2. Actually cannot really consider finished, since I wasn't paying any attention to one of the episodes coz I was on the phone. But considering all the 3 parts of this show, the 2nd one is considered the best. Yep. First one is tooooo... hmmmmmm. Only one or two minor story lines. 3rd is worse. 2nd one i think has around 10 or 11 story lines. Damn nice. and alot of twists and turns. VERY NICE. (:

Been quite a couple of days since I last blogged, coz I finally bought 我和僵尸有个约会 2. YAY. Finally! Haven't finished watching yet. Still on episode 27, if I'm not wrong. HAHA. Okay, maybe it's just for SLIGHTLY weirder people, a.k.a me. (:

Anyway, thanks/ no thanks to Junqiang. Was trying not to sms or call him 2days ago when he smsed me to ask whether I've got this song (记得爱）. Okay, well, I do have that song. In fact I had it more than.... 6 months? Haha. And freak! His fault that I'm re-addicted to this song. I had hard time trying not to mention anything about this song for a super long time, AND HE HAD TO REMIND ME. Rawr. Serves him right that he's also addicted to this song now. HAHA. But really, I found the lyrics of this song quite meaningful. (:

阿沁： 天空不断下着无声的雪
阿沁： 而我只有思念　勉强能温暖黑夜
李玖哲： 拥抱离我已经千山万水
李玖哲： 每侗男人都有　说不出的心碎　Oh Yeah
阿沁： 我还爱着一个人　但愿
阿沁： 回到美好的从前 李玖哲： Oh Yeah
李玖哲： 也许痛的感觉　证明了爱的深浅
合唱： 不然为什么我还不撤退　Woo-Ho~
合唱： 记得爱　所有幸福的片段
李玖哲： 所以才一直忘记要离开
阿沁： 伸出手　继续勇敢付出我的爱
合唱： 原地不动的等待
合唱： 就算风把我的头发吹乱
李玖哲： 记得爱 是我给过的答案
阿沁： 就不再　考虑应该不应该
李玖哲： 一滴泪　落进无边无际的大海
合唱： 至少我们都活得没有遗憾
合唱： 我还爱着一个人　但愿
李玖哲： 回到美好的从前
阿沁： 也许痛的感觉　证明了爱的深浅
合唱： 不然为什么我还不撤退　Woo-Oh~
合唱： 记得爱　所有幸福的片段
李玖哲： 所以才一直忘记要离开
阿沁： 伸出手　继续勇敢付出我的爱
阿沁： 原地不动的等待 (李玖哲： 不动的等待)
阿沁： 就算风把我的头发吹乱
李玖哲： 记得爱 是我给过的答案
阿沁： 就不再　考虑应该不应该
李玖哲： 一滴泪
合唱： 落进无边无际的大海
合唱： 至少我们都 活得没有遗憾
合唱： 记得爱　所有幸福的片段
李玖哲： 所以才一直忘记要离开
阿沁： 伸出手　继续勇敢付出我的爱
合唱： 原地不动的等待
合唱： 就算风把我的头发吹乱
李玖哲： 记得爱 是我给过的答案
阿沁： 就不再　考虑应该不应该
李玖哲： 一滴泪
合唱： 落进无边无际的大海
合唱： 至少我们都 活得没有遗憾

Haha. Okay, the above is the song I've been gushing about. I think i embedded this song is the ''Music'' section in this blog too. It's really quite a nice song. Junqiang even mentioned about picturing him and Zhenqin singing this song together. Haha. Super hilarious. That would be the best. If only they could show me on my birthday. That would be the best gift that both of them could ever give me. However, that is just an impossible dream. Only Junqiang will be singing it. AWWWWWWWWW.

Junqiang already promised to delicate a song to me since prom night, since he wore....... NVM. Just know that he promised me that so that I won't get angry. He wanted to sing Yang Chen Ling's ''Qing Zhu''. But that song is like, SUPER ACT CUTE. I've never heard a more act cute song than that. EW. So I requested that he changed it to this song. Haha. Which he gladly agreed too. (:

Junqiang even mentioned that this song reminds him of ''someone'' too. But he refuses to mention who that ''someone'' is. I thought he meant Guanlin at first. But he told me it isn't. Maybe it's Zhenqin. HAHAHA! :P Don't worry Junqiang, I won't tell anyone that you're gay. (:




Anyway, I put the picture of myself and Guanlin on my handphone wallpaper, and was staring at it for a very long time. (refer to the attached picture). How stupid can I get? How can I possibly compete with her for **? She's obviously prettier, smart, smaller, cuter etc. than me. Obviously ** will fall for her. Only stupid people would choose me over her. I bet he's a smart one. Oh wait. I don't even need to bet. It's already the case. Okay smart guy, good choice. Too bad she hasn't accepted you. *i sound so sarcastic. But who cares.*

我想通了. Let's just remain as brothers. No wait. It's SISTERS. I don't care. It's sisters. I admit that I haven't gotten over it yet, but fret not. I will. Soon. I hope. (:

The princess felt warm lips softly touch her supple skin and a magical tingling feeling swept over her. Slowly, she opened her eyes, and let her senses recover from the long sleep. She felt strong hands on her own fragile ones, and when her pupils met his she immediately knew he was the one for her. Slipping a diamond ring onto her finger, the prince said huskily, "Marry me, my goddess.." She swallowed hard. Staring at the chiselled face and those deep set eyes, she could not bring herself to say the "Yes!" exploding in her heart but instead just nodded happily.

NO! Wait... Wrong wrong wrong. Fairy tales cheat naive little girls into thinking those creatures from mars with the dangly thing are actually good-natured. Only from experience would they know these creatures are capable of deep cruelty(Raping, ditching, two-timing, blowjobs etc).

Yep, Junqiang isn't as nice as described all over my blog. He did some of the above cruelty mentioned. Damn that asshole, isn't it? ASSHOLE. WAHAHAHA ASSHOLE!

I'm aiming not to talk or sms him or whatever now. TODAY SHALL BE THE FIRST DAY!!!

YAY!

After this, he's gonna be away from my mind forever!!!!!1
YAY!

and i know how sick the previous posts sound. HAHAHA.

Yesterday when I went with Junqiang to Samuel's house to sign up for PAE, they wanted to read my blog and I protested badly, and Junqiang grabbed my hand so fucking tightly so that I cannot protest. And I S.C.R.E.A.M.E.D at him, ''放开我！！！ 放开我！！！ L.E.T.G.O!!!'' a couple of times plus a few trying-to-let-him-to-let-go gestures before he let go. ASSHOLE. Coming to think of it, I was screaming at him as though I just got raped or something. HAHAHA. Serves him hell right. He's not even my boyfriend. What gives him the right to touch me?! PFFFT.

DAY 1 of not talking or smsing JQ! (:

some pictures from grad night on monday. (:

SERIOUSLY, don't ask me what we're doing, because I really really don't know. Haha. We just got too high that day. HAHAHA.

*note to Junqiang: Damn you for lying to me. How I wished I could whack you straight down with a huge piece of Char Siew.

Was just reading a random post that shows how sick guys can get. It's like, the answers were like, so one kind that kinda thing, which brings to the main issue of masturbation in public. What I meant was, guys masturbating in public. It's like, EW! How indiscreet can they get?

According to www.dictionary.com , it states that masturbation meant the stimulation, by manual or other means exclusive of coitus, of another's genitals, esp. to orgasm. Okay, ew right?

[[[There was once i was out with this guy friend of mine. We were in the MRT (I like MRTs, haha...). I told him, "Wah lau fuck man that Bangala keep staring at me."
He said, "U know why?"
I thought he will say 'coz u are pretty'. I shook my head though.
"He is remembering ur face so that he can go home and masturbate."]]]

Ok, i ripped the above from somewhere else, but don't you agree? Guys are the SICKEST *if this word does exist* creatures in the universe.

Seriously, for myself, I have parts of guys that I find really really attractive (:
I LOVE CHESTS! Yes, I like men's chest. Not those typical hairy kind, or those muscular ones, and not those er...... saggy kinds. haha. I like those bony, with a tinch of flesh kinda chest. It mustn't really be concaved in and stuff. Must be slightly protruding out. Look at Junqiang's chest. He has the perfect one. (:
I also LOVE shoulders!!! Well, as for that, it cannot be too bony. Prefer it to be broad and.... huggable. Haha. Junqiang has also one of the PERFECT shoulder. Neither too bony or too fat. Neither too broad nor too ehhhhhh. slim. haha. Zhenqin also passed the shoulder test. (:
I LOVE GUYS BACK TOO!!! Tanned broad scarless backs. OMFG. AWESOME! As usual, Junqiang has the PERFECT BACK TOO! (: Zhenqin could have had the perfect back look too if he was tanner. :P

MOST OF ALL! I love a guys eyes and smile!! (:
Okay i admit Junqiang's eyes isn't exactly that PRETTY or what, but oh boy. Lao niang got electrocuted by his eyes a gazillion times. ZZZZZZZZTTT. His smile.... Ehhhhhhh. Ok lah. Sometimes super CHARMING lurh. Actually its most of the time. (:

In conclusion for looks:
Junqiang = 95% perfect guy
WOOPS. haha. Well, that's for me only. Some ppl say he's 0%? haha! (:
Look at the above picture to gauge it yourself (:

Today was prom. Can be said to be one of the WORST days of my life. Not that prom was horrible, but it's JQ! JQ AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN! Yes i know his name is mentioned in almost every post. BUT IT'S FUCKING INFURIATING. :(

he told me that he was lying........
FUCKING FUCKED UP LIAR!

FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING HELL.
ok i know I'm exaggerating. I'm really not that angry. Not that sad too. Just very.... pissed. Really fucking angry one lor. But who cares lurh. HAHA.

He lie to me so I lie back to him about liking him lor. HAHAHAHAHA. Who ask him. Lie to me first lah. But really, I was damn stupid to believe him in the first place. And he had to say these to me when I wasn't that certain of my...... eh.. Feelings! Ah yes first. Coz it's like, finally when I was about to totally get over him, he had to ask me that question. Like, I wasn't exceptionally THAT pissed off coz of the lying thing. It was because of the part that I almost totally got over you, when you suddenly had to ask me this. NOW MY PREVIOUS EFFORTS TO FORGET YOU IS WASTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHHHHHHHHHH!!

Okay I'm REALLY REALLY exaggerating alot. I really wasn't that sad coz I knew it would be fake. I just didn't know that JQ was REALLY such a fucked up asshole to lie about such stuff. Or should I say, I should be immune to it since he lied to me about similar matters once before.

Seriously, before i started scolding him, I really did like him ALOT ALOT ALOT. Now coming to think about it, I seriously dont think I like him. HAHAHA. Scolding works. (:

Okay anyway, this post is supposed to be about grad night. Okay. Anyway, Grad night was kinda fun i guess, other than the stupid JQ thing. The food was, Okay i guess. I didn't like the drink. Orange squash right? It was FRIGGIN sweet at first, and FRIGGIN diluted later. The soup, chicken and cold dish was okay I guess. I didn't really enjoy the cake coz other than the fact that it's super fattening, it was chocolate!!! I don't know why but i'm really starting to dislike chocolates alot. But hey, lao niang paid $25 for it! Might as well eat it.

Intermediate activities were quite fun I guess. My GOD. Julio was crowned prom king. HAHAHA. seriously nth special about him. But I'm just glad that I, at least won something from the lucky draw thingy. Aussino bath towels? How creative can they get. Oh wells.

Ok, yes, and i took ALOT of photos with everyone yesterday! haha. Must thank those whom I took photos with. I will never forget them for as long as my mind works *which it always isnt* haha. (:

Thank you:
Junqiang (:
Zhenqin (:
Christie (:
Samuel (:
Princess Addy (:
Princess Mingming (:
Jossy (:
Annette (:
Guanlin (:
Adelene (:
Yongpin (:
Rachel (:
Lee Anne (:
Wenyan (:
Melissa (:
Sibelle (:
Eleanor (:
Jeriel (:
Joanna (:
Mimi (:

And also thanks to those whom I hugged yesterday:
Junqiang <3
Zhenqin <3
Christie <3
Princess Addy <3
Princess Mingming <3
Rachel <3
I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU GUYS (:

And also SPECIAL THANKS to:
1) My All Time Camwhoring partners:
- Junqiang =]
- Huiming =]
2) My All Time SMS pal:
- Zhenqin =]
- Huiming =]
- Leeanne =]
3) My All Time listen-to-me-bitch:
- Leeanne =]
- Junqiang =]
4) My All Time ADVICE-PROVIDER:
- Adeline =]
- Leeanne =]
- Huiming =]
- Zhenqin =]
5) My All Time SLUT:
- SAMUEL =]
6) My All Time gay:
- Junqiang =]
7) My All Time Lesbian:
- Leeanne =]
- Huiming =]
8) My All Time CHEER-ME-UPS:
- Junqiang =]
- Leeanne =]
- Zhenqin =]
- Samuel =]
- Christie =]
- Huiming =]
9) My All Time Favourite GIRLS:
- Leeanne =]
- Huiming =]
- Adeline =]
10) My All Time Favourite GUYS:
- Junqiang =]
- Zhenqin =]
- Samuel =]
- Christie =]

I will never forget any of you. Even if my mind fails me, which it always does, I still will not forget you guys. This is my promise. (:

OMG I'm like so emotional today. :P

Once again, Junqiang ''played with my feelings''.

QUOTES:

Junqiang:
2moro is wad time meet? At where? And can i ask a favour frm u? B my gf leh... can?

me:
huh? did u send to e wrong person?

Junqiang:
I send correct person wad. U kimberly rite? So 2moro is wad time meet, at where?

me:
uh huh... eh. i not sure. i havent called christie... and... Whats up with the second part?

Junqiang:
Ok lah. Tell u e real thing. My parents were guessing whether u my gf not as i spend a lot of time on e phone wif u. Lol. Sry if i had scared u.





FREAK YOU. you sure did give me a ''pleasant'' surprise. How i wished i can just strangle you right here and now. And mind you, i havent calmed down. WAHHHHHHHHHHHH! It's like, just came down from roller coaster ride + period first day kinda feeling. WTH.

and you actually said it out so easily. MAN. How i wished you could just drop dead in front of me. RAWR.

YES! end of olevels!!!!! WOOHOO! but sadly, I'm grounded for some STUPID reason, which i don't even know. Fagarism. URGH. nvm. I'm just probably gonna rot at home till something crops up, and i need to go to school. SIMPLE. For once, i wished there was school. :(

It's kinda CRAP. Nothing to do during the long break till January, when i start attending PAE with Junqiang at Innova JC. But still, it's super crap. Nothing to do during this whole long break other than the ''attachment'' at Singapore Poly for 2 weeks? Still, crap. Suddenly mugging feels fun. At least time passes faster. OH MANZ. How am i going to survive!? EAT SLEEP SLACK WHOLE DAY, and not allowed to step out of the house. How i wish i can just drop dead now. URGHZ.



I WANT TO GO OUT!
I WANT MONEY! :(

Received a couple of freaky smses from our dear princess mingming yesterday. I extracted some of the contents and decided to post some here, plus some comments I've got to say about it. Here goes:

11nov 1.31am
''My not considered la.... Same same.... Zq is your next crush ba?''


11nov 1.33am
''Really thought they say zq like you? Maybe you can consider him... Haha...''


11nov 1.38am
''Not sure heard from who but i know jq also thinks tat he interested in you.....''

11nov 1.50am
Haha... Really... I thought you treat him as substitute for jq haha....''



ok seriously, i'm quite caught aback by this. It means that it has just unknowingly spread to....... i don't know where. but well... Seriously, it's impossible between me and zq. I only treat zq as my little brother, nothing more than that, thank you very much, and this brother-sister relationship between us will remain. So do not think too much between the both of us. He's just another one of my good friends.

Anyway, I think i really used up tonnes of brain cells these 2 days to think of whatever significant *or maybe insignificant, i don't know* things that Junqiang did to me before. And goodness. I've got a whole list of them, and they set my blood boiling. Here goes some of the more ''crucial'' ones, i guess. It really isn't in the chronological order, coz seriously, i can't remember what came first too. :P

1) Confession to YP: I still remember. Junqiang, you made me confess to YP on 30th Jan 2007 this year, just because you didn't want rumours between both of us to go on again. Like, to hell with you. How would you feel if I forced you to confess to someone you didn't like just for my own selfish wants. How selfish and self-centered can you get? And I was so dumb to had gone along with your wants. I'm such a fool. And when I got angry when you asked me to confess, you had it sound as though I'm being completely unreasonable to have gotten angry with you. If you need to recap, please refer to my previous post dated 29th January. And because of this, Leeanne had to go confess to OOO too. All just because you selfishly wanted to stop the rumours between you and me. However, it didn't stop. The aftermaths of this incident is simple: The loss of yongpin as my friend, harassment of the bunch of idiots from ooo's gang, the loss of my first fake confession, the loss of trust in you, and the rumours between you and me became worse.

2) August 16: You screamed and chased me away for no good reason, probably because I wasn't on real good terms with zq then, and since your life seemingly revolves around him last time, it wasn't a real surprising thing that you did that to me. Hey wait, maybe it wasn't that time that i was on bad terms with zq, since zq and sam sided with me then. Please refer to the post on 16aug for recap on that incident. Thank you. Worse thing was that you can't remember this incident now. It's okay. Everyone else does. You just made me hate you.

3) October 3th: You actually ran away the other time in school, as well as outside the mrt at woodlands. Like, TO HELL WITH YOU. Who do you think you are?! You think what, the whole world cannot survive without you is it? Fuck you. And even after doing that, you even had the guts to push the blame onto others. Like, Come on! You ain't any 3 year old kiddo. Take responsibility for your own actions. You wouldn't like someone doing that to you right. If that's the case, why did you do it in the past? In regards to that, I've only got one thing to say: Junqiang, don't blame me if i do the same thing to you the next time. It used to be your game. But now, it's mine.

4) October 5th Grad day: That day, you were the one who asked me along to orchard before going to CSC with you. But that day, you asked Sam and ZQ along. And obviously, I was badly insulted by zq coz i was on super bad terms with him then, and they sounded super unwilling to go with me to orchard. Before the train arrived, i asked you seriously whether to hell are WE going. You couldn't give me a definite answer, since your life revolves around zq. So to hell with it, I left. And that was the day, your friendship with sam came to a halt. I was fucking pissed off then, and was fiercely glad about what happened between you and sam.

5) October 1st: It was just before our chemistry lesson. You had a fucking crush on that fucking bitch then. She could touch you shoulder and stuff. But What happened? I got fucking ticked off when i hit you with my water bottle, because it LOOKS so mushy when i whack you with a fucking lifeless water bottle. Oh fuck you. She can touch you with her bare hands, and it's totally okay, when a water bottle seems tooooo mushy for you. WELL DONE. You just made me hate you. And as I'm typing this, I'm recalling the entire scene, and I'm now fully pissed off with you.

All those typings just made me more angry with you, although i know its awfully childish to get angry with you now since I'm on pretty good terms with you, zq and sam now. But who cares. Whatever hurt you've done will never be undone. Physical scars will heal, but emotional scars WON'T. And wait. Maybe I've got to change that sentence a little, coz, DAMN YOU JQ. THE SCAR YOU LEFT ON MY ARM WHEN YOU GRABBED ME THE OTHER TIME IS STILL PRESENT. ok. So that previous sentence doesn't really stand, does it? Of course, there are still a gazillion reasons for me to get pissed with you, for e.g., the dining etiquette incident and unfair treatment between me and that bitch. Oh, to the fuck with it, these all added together will NEVER EVER amount and surmount to that fucking incident at my house.

THE ULTIMATE HURT YOU INFLICTED:
the other time you, zq, sam and christie came to my house to get me to give zq his psp. YOU LIED TO ME AWFULLY BAD! you lied, saying that you liked me. I thought you were joking then, and told you to quit it. Then, you held my hand and placed it against your chest saying, ''you feel my heart for yourself. I'm not joking. I really love you.''. DID YOU FUCKING KNOW THAT I MELTED THERE AND THEN!? I should have known better. that night when you told me that you said that so that i'll give zq what he wanted. I so badly wanted to break down there and then. Did you know how cruel it was!? You fucking broke my heart into a gazillion pieces then. That's it. I'm never ever gonna trust guys. It's okay if you didn't like me, BUT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO LIE TO ME RIGHT. You made use of my feelings. That ended it all. I'm not trusting you EVER!


ok i know its super childish of me to get pissed off now since you've already apologised profusely for everything you did, except for the ultimate hurt, since i didn't mention it to you. Well, just gotta write it all down to vent it all. i shall continue when i recall more stuff. (:



Sorry if this post is kinda vulgar. Coz i'm really super pissed off. haha. (: SMILES :*)

PREVIEW OF EXPECTED OLEVELS RESULTS 2007: highest grades for each subject

KIMBERLY (: JUNQIANG (:
English: B3 B3
Chinese: A1 A1
maths: A1 A1
a maths: A2 A1
science: A1 A1
biology: A1 A1
humanities: A2 B3

Kimberly: L1R5 9pts
L1R4 8pts
Junqiang: L1R5 10-2= 8pts
L1R4 9pts


okay maybe the score u may see from the above isn't really much of a difference, but still, its just an estimation. I'm probably gonna get much worse than that. so heck with it. LOLZ. can you imagine if both of us actually got through PAE to Innova JC, and we intend to go back to the same school? HAHAHA. I'll then be going in with a Whooping 7 points while Junqiang will be going in with a WHOOPING-er 6points. See what i mean? some people are just so smart. I don't mean myself, excuse me. I meant our dear Mr Su, whom i guess is currently busy awaiting for his sparkling olevels results. Nevermind. I'm used to Mr smart guy.

Anyway, went for job interview at Ngee Ann City today with Junqiang, Huiming and Eleanor. The agent called me a couple of days ago, requesting that i go down for an interview today. So i got them along i guess. But so far, only i made through the interview. O.o after that went with them to Taka. Jq went to look at his own stuff whereas I went with the girls to look at erotic undergarments, and prom dresses. Well, those dresses are merely for fun. haha. (: i changed out of 2 black dresses at first, but i didn't think they looked nice. After princess mingming changed out of a couple of dresses, they asked me to try this long white gown/dress, which we 3 really liked. Huiming couldn't get into it coz apparently, it was too long. In fact, longer than she was. Haha. so i tried. and it fitted quite nicely, i've got to say. and WTF. i didn't know that Junqiang was just outside the fitting room, and i just opened the stupid door in the white dress and SCCCCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAMMMMMMMM!!!!!! ARGH. stupid Jq. At first i thought he didn't see anything coz i hid behind the door. but stupid me, there was a huge mirror, and Jq saw EVERYTHING! as in, he saw me in the dress. Well, at least he didn't puke. That's a good sign.

Went to causeway point to play DDR with Jq, again. HAHA. Friggin bored at home! RAWR.

AT LEAST I FINALLY BOUGHT A PSP! YAY! (:

6nov. Happy birthday Junqiang! =)
went causeway point celebrate junqiang's birthday today. Was quite fun. okay, the lunch wasnt that glamerous, since it's at KFC. haha. like, who cares about the lunch, since a f***ed up bitch was sitting beside our table. Aiyah. Like who gives a damn about that f***ing bitch. >___<
went to arcade. played the hell outta me. was damn tiring, but damn fun. was perfecting the beethoven song with Junqiang earlier. That poor guy. He vomitted after 2 games. haha. but we still continued after that. i think almost 30bucks went to ddr? haha. maybe. =]
but it was fun, still. but poor jq, since he's feeling kinda sick now. poor guy. hope you get well soon, and just to end this:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNQIANG! (:

Latest update of score by JQ. still super stressing results.
english: b3
chinese: a1
maths: a1
amaths: a1
science: a1
humanities: b3
okay.... 10 for L1r5... after deducting cca would be like, 8.. ok freak.

Sat for physics paper today. It was such a crapped up paper. First time i ever thought physics was must easier to score for than chemistry. Either way, I think i'm scoring pretty acceptable SO FAR.
a recap of the aims and scores i think i MAY get:
english: B3, or if i'm lucky, A2.
chinese: A1 distinction *ok i'm proud of this*
maths: trying for A1.
add. maths: trying for A2.
science: A1 i guess.
bio: haha crap.
humanities: *for geog only* A2.
see what i mean? yes i know i should be rather happy to have aimed to score like, 9 or 10 points? haha whatever. as if i really can get such scores. If i could, what's Junqiang? nevermind. I've just got to admit that people like me are much slower and stupider than others. Oh wells.

Sometimes i really wanna take my hat off guys. Their minds and speech seriously don't click, and their mind set is like, never grown up since the age of 4. Or should i say, they're like, weird people. As in, they still have those typical Meteor garden or whatever corny drama series thinking that girls, looking natural, is the best. They should not try ways and means to look neater and better. Seriously, guys are weird creatures:

1) Guys like to say that girls should not put on makeup, because they look unnatural, or in another way, SUPER HIDEOUS in makeup. Like, come on. Haven't you guys been ogling at those super models on ads and stuff? can you imagine how they'll look like without those makeup? Like, come on. If it wasn't for the fact that most guys usually like pretty girls, those girls wouldn't even have to try anything to hide their complex with a wall thick of foundation and eye shadow to make their eyes sparkle to blind you. Like, hey, girls have the right to look nice too eh. And come on, you guys say that a girl looks best without make up. Let me ask. When does a girl look most pretty? It's usually on her wedding day, and thats the day she'll DEFINITELY put on makeup. Like, can you imagine a bride without makeup, looking as though she's dying of cancer any moment? not very nice isn't it? So come on, if girls feel that they can look nicer with makeup, let them be. Not as though their makeup's gonna kill you or something. But of course, if their makeup is UBER thick and scary, then i've got nothing to say. They had just gotta get rid of some of that sparkling green or blue eye shadow and thick red cheeks with plump blood red distorted lips.

2) They say that girls is weird when they try to make themselves ''hairless'' by going for waxing and stuff. Hey, i find this completely dumb. It's like, what, you prefer super hairy girl by your side is it? Haha. Funny mental image. Guys, imagine if on your wedding day, your super hot and sexy wife-to-be raises her hand to show off her priceless collection of hair on her armpit. Like what, is that really such a nice sight to you? Oh sorry, forgot you guys love such hairy stuff. Happy being with your hairy wife-to-be on your wedding day.

3) They say that girls are super vain, or hiao, when girls get new hairdos (eg. rebonding perming and stuff.) Somehow, for this, i only have one comment: so? yep. so? girls like to do it, so its their problem. I dont see the need for guys to actually go comment and make hell lots of critisms to girls. Like what, you think you very nice is it? come on. Before they start critising girls, why not look at themselves first? nowadays, out of 10 teenage guys you see, almost 8 of them have their hair spiked up, or something done to their hair to make it look ''cool''. How cool is it having a durian for a head? Same case here. Girls do whatever they wanna do with their hair, so QUIT complaining about girls just because you're some fucked up M.C.P.

See how dumb some guys can get? Man... Urghz.
*note: this is not directed at any individual. It was just some comments i just had to give after visiting one online forum.*

What the heck. Super stressed up due to olevels. but i dont behave as if i care lurhz. the mere fact that i'm even blogging is as though screaming, ''LOOK HERE EVERYONE! OLEVELS CHICKEN FOR ME!''. whatever. so far the papers were.......... okay. passable.

Junqiang, you're seriously stressing the shit outta me. lemme say his aims and what he think he would get for the papers so far:
english: a2 or PERHAPS a1.
chinese: already confirmed a1.
science: (lets just take the chem one for now) a1.
maths: a1.
amaths: a1.
humanities: (lets just take the geog for now) B3.
let me see what his average olevels scores would be. *counting* wow. L1r5 of 9, or 7 after deducting cca points, and L1r4 of 8. see what i mean? STRESS.

okay my aims aint as high as he is aiming, though i think its kinda too high for someone of my calibre lurh. lets see.
english: B3 or MAYYYBE a2.
chinese: already a1.
maths: trying a1.
amaths: trying a2.
science: (just take chem for now) trying a1.
humanities: (if i'm lucky for geog) trying to aim a2.
soooooo..... l1r5 would be around *if i'm damn lucky* 10... L1r4 would be 8... okay maybe my expections are too high. the higher i aim, the greater i'll fall.

DAMN THIS STUPID CRAP.
I HATE OLEVELS.